In my world outside of this boat I live and breathe through time or a target e.g working to a deadline at work and trying to complete it before it is needed, training on the river in my kayak through time trials by time and trying to beat times by going further in a set time or in a gym lifting more reps in a space time. I live by setting goals. However on this boat you can’t quite do that if you had that attitude you would not survive. The sea or Big O or Mr O a few names I or other crew members have named where we are. On one shift you can be going against a counter current and wind you want to reach the next target point but are going nowhere, or you are about to finish a shift and Mr O soaks you in a wave and you get annoyed and frustrated and shout back and say ‘Why!’ You head to sleep and when you wake you hear screams of delight as we have waves and winds and the excitement of surfing a wave.
At the start I had an expectation of how long things would take, it became clear if you do this it will consume you, it has me at times. I am learning to live in the moment to enjoy the here and now and not wish for what is next. You can miss so much otherwise, like the excitement of surfing waves, Dolphins swimming or seeing your first pilot whale. If you didn’t live in the moment you wish that this bit was over and you miss so much.